FRAZZLED

As this journey happens, I will be bouncing back and forth between present and past. I want to share about my momma in the past but don’t want to lose sight of what's happening in the present.

She’s been with me 16 days. A lot has transpired in those 16 days.

We moved her from:

✨a town she’s lived in most of her life.

✨an assisted living facility she’s lived at for 2 years To a place where she knows 8 people and isn’t sure of the names of a few of those because they’re little kids.

At first, she thought she was on vacation. She kept asking how long she was staying and really got confused when I’d say forever.

You see… when we packed her belongs up, we had her sit outside or in the hallway so she couldn’t see all that we got rid of. We knew it’d be a battle of “ I want that “ and we didn’t have time for that.

Was it fair to her? Maybe. Maybe not. We knew in a matter of time she wouldn’t remember those items anyway.

Ha! At one point we placed a purse with fringe, in the hallway, free to any passersby. As soon as she saw that purse it was , “I want that. That’s my favorite purse!” Tonight, that purse was unpacked in our new home. 🙃

Out of those fifteen days, two mornings she woke in a frazzled state (in the apartment) and didn’t know where she was. One morning wasn’t too bad. That morning, once she saw me, she calmed. It broke my heart.

The next time she woke frazzled shattered my heart. I absolutely hate this for her.

That morning was a super busy morning for me. I was on a call and I heard her. She was panting. That panic type pant. I excused myself from the call and I met her in the hallway and walked her to the living room. Where I sat facing her and continuously talking to her.

My momma loves Elvis and Queen. So, I put on some Queen music and said, “I love this band!” and I started singing. Loudly! She smiled. She sat there for a few minutes and then started singing with me.

It took quite a while before she realized where she was. I believe the music took her to a different place and that allowed her panic to settle and her mind to come back to knowing she was safe with me.

I hate this for her. It's heartbreaking to watch unfold.

I also hate Queen but, if it soothes her soul and calms her down I will blast that stero every damn day!